Jinxed

You and I are above average, in all things. We know that. There is no need to try to convince us otherwise. We make wise decisions. Some of that decision making ability comes from having learned from our mistakes. You tuck the info away, to be used for the next and wiser decision.
However, God has a plan for us. It includes humility. Well, to be more precise, humility, temptation, and stores with more than one check out line.
The lesson goes like this. You are following a large lady who is pushing a cart, and pulling one with a rope. Both carts are full. Stacked 3 feet above the side of the carts and items underneath hanging out and sweeping on the floor. She obviously has the seats out of her Suburban. How else could she possibly haul this stuff home? She goes into lane 1. In lane 2 is a man with a pack of gum. Who do you get in line behind. If you have enough experience, you will fall in line behind the lady with the two carts. Why? Because you realize it is a trap. Then the second temptation is thrown at you. A sweet young thing steps up to the register in lane 3, turns on the light and says, in a voice meant for seduction, "I can help someone over here". There is suddenly a bright light from heaven that encircles this girl and her empty lane. She is lovely, her hair fairly glows with radiance with the light from above. You want to. The urge is so strong. The man with the gum is almost out the door. Now even lane 2 is empty. The sweet thing in lane 3 smiles an alluring smile at you. The check out of the lady in front of you is about one fourth completed and is on the microphone, "I need a price check on Pillsbury Ultra Fudge Brownie Mix". Sweat, streams down your brow. You know it's a setup.
The human that you are, wins. You make a dash for the girl in lane 3. Three people show up behind you and fill lane 2. And another big load goes in behind the power shopper in lane 1. Your first item is scanned and then your second, and on and on until your last item is in hand. She shows it to the scanner. Beep beep. A frown appears on her face. She scans it again, beep beep. She reads the numbers and enters them one at a time. Beep beep. She grabs the microphone, "Bob, could you come up front?" Well, Bob is unloading a truck with a forklift and is the only one in the store right now who can both run the forklift AND tell us why this item won't scan. "I told Bob, and he'll be there as quick as he can", says the intercom. She smiles that beautiful smile that says, "I'm so glad you came to see me....SUCKER". She doesn't laugh that evil laugh. Outloud.
The other aisles empty, the customers are gone, and the checkers go on break. But there you stand with the Queen of Da Aisle. She says "I'm sorry this is taking so long". You reply while you look at the floor, "that's okay". If you were a five year old your Mother would be spanking your bare behind right now. "How dare you yield to temptation like that" she would yell. But for you, shame and humility is the lesson here in lane 3. YOU KNEW BETTER!
Marilyn claims to having worse luck than everyone else. She claims she's jinxed. Today we ordered breakfast at the little cafe off of the store. She went to get a jar of instant tea. She came back ten minutes later to a cold breakfast. "I can't believe it, the man in front of me just used his debit card for 33 cents". Now yelling "THIRTY THREE CENTS... AND, when she asked if he wanted some cash...HE SAID NO!!!"
There are two phrases which sound different but have the same intent.
"Hi big guy, want to have some fun?" and "I can help someone over here in lane three.".... Take a long, slow, deep breath and say, "No thanks", and just walk away.