Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Farm Cats

We have a problem. We were down to just a few farm cats. We like them hanging around. We subsidize them with cat food and in return they keep rodents from taking over the farm. Recently we thought they were looking a bit scruffy so we increased their food. The number of stray cats increased with the increased handouts. We now have four litters of kittens on the farm. So reports my Grandchildren.
We will have to increase the food for the new cats and that will in turn draw more cats to the free food. Seems the more we give away, the more cats there are standing in line for the food. And then they'll quit hunting mice because none of the other cats have to do that kind of work any more.
Extending this line of reason into the future we will eventually need to start buying cat food by the semi load and have a 'staff' veterinarian for cat health care. I'm not going to pay the veterinarian very much so I hope the cats aren't expecting much from my Vet. When they get old they'll just have to plan on kickin' the bucket because, well, I'll be calling the shots on the health care and we'll be limited on Drs and such.
I'm not worried because I know I can borrow money for cat food and if I die before I get it paid off, my Grandchildren can pay for the free cat food and veterinary health care debt that I've accumulated.
The good news is that Marilyn and I are now VERY popular with the cats. They hope we can survive forever. They just love us. Life is good. They've indicated that they would vote for me, no matter what, if I run for farmer again next year.
I hope they don't find out the truth about this not being sustainable.

21 comments:

Gette said...

That whole "circle of life" thing oughta take care of that little problem, especially with your proximity to the river. Our friends have a similar place, thus they also have coyotes, eagles and falcons in the neighborhood. No surplus cat problem there...
(thia is a little awkward with your political metaphor, however...can't see anybody agreeing to predators cutting back on health care funding. Oh wait...)

possum said...

We have 2 inside and 2 outside cats - all neutered, so no kitten problems here (well, plus they are all boys!) They do keep the mouse and vole population down, and even service our neighbor's property. The neighbor thanked me once for sending the cats over to take care of their mouse population so I sent them a bill for services. They LAUGHED at me! Imagine!
But here is the rub - check back on my blog to, maybe, last week or so and see the picture of the mouse sneaking up and eating out of the cat's dish!
Last year I posted pictures of the blue jays stealing the cat food. They are still at it. I don't know who all I am feeding out there!
Soooooooo, to get back to your posting - you may be feeding more than just the fat cats... see who is sneaking in and swiping your food! LOL! You MIGHT be surprised!

Lanny said...

Isn't it amazing what living on a farm teaches a person?! I noticed some of our cats packing their bags and hitching a ride "out east" because here at Vicktory Farms, "if you don't work, you don't eat or sleep in a cushy bed," the same goes for young humans as well as cats, dogs and the like. Hope you are enjoying your new free loaders er I mean cats.

Granny Annie said...

When we moved here we inherited fourteen cats. We did nothing for them and they moved down the hill except for one. We built back up to 12 then dropped to 9 and now we have 12 again. It is indeed a circle of life. We do feed them every morning and they stay and do their jobs but for some reason they do not touch my chickens. Our philosophy is "the fittest will survive" and they do. I try not to become attached but that is almost impossible when I find myself naming them.

CrystalW said...

If you aren't careful, you will be known as the "crazy cat man", lol!

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

why catch mice, when the farmer will give it to ya free? When you have cornered the market on cats, I would imagine the world will be beating down your door for the solution to THEIR mouse (mice?) problems.

Shannon said...

Cliff sounds exactly like the problem with Medicaid and unemployment right now.

(Oh and they are easily punctured. You move them with an attachment called a bale hugger.)
P.S. You do know what silage is.... right? Maybe haylage is just a southern thing.

Cliff said...

Yeah we've fed a lot of silage (when I was much younger) and I'm familiar with the haylage. AG Bag was a company just 25 miles from here that did the same thing but with a long nearly endless white bag.

Ralph said...

Cliff
Your starting to do with cats what Pelosi wants to do with health care. Don’t leave your kids that kind of debt.
Ralph

Dan said...

You just remember, it is those cats that work extra hard to kill all those mice that paved the way for these mangey pussy cats to afford their sub-standard, hand-out taking life style.

Kendra Lynn said...

Wow...I have a great story about a farm cat...oh yeah. It lived on my uncle's feedlot...and it LOVED me. I think it was on its 12th life...seemed like he lived forever.
Crazy cat JUST WOULDN'T KICK THE BUCKET! Seriously.

Cliff said...

Hi KL, yeah we have a cat that seems to have lived a pretty dangerous life. Fan belts and all. But still the king around here.

Jerry in Indiana said...

Sounds like you just need some coyotes to "handle" things out there.

Good luck, Cliff. I can't keep track of one cat here in Indiana.

Rachel said...

Four litters? Wow, that's quite a colony of cats Cliff!

Give some to Jerry. He has no cat now. Well....maybe a bad idea since they don't seem to last long there.

Between cat food and health care that could be quite expensive. I took my dog to the vet yesterday for his usual ear infection. I left after paying the bill of $95.00. Ouch! It's just as expensive for the cats!!

EV said...

What happened to that goose you had .... The one that layed those golden eggs? (Gasp) , the cats didn't .... Well, you know.

Jamie Dawn said...

Brilliant analogy!
Brilliant insight!
Brilliant parable!

Cliff's Parable of the Freeloading Cats.

:-)

JunieRose2005 said...

:) Yes-I see a deeper story there than just your resident farm cats!


...As for cats...I am down to just 2!
I wish I could take a few of your kittens!


Junie

Peter said...

Each one of those critters has 9 lives Cliff, so you should never run out of cats.

Jim said...

Hey Cliff, you should collect donations or maybe taxes from your rich sustaining neighbors to help pay for all that free food!
Got to watch the voting though, cats are fickle. A whole lot don't vote, they just howl. :-)
..

Janell said...

Good analysis, Cliff. Brilliant.

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