B. S. I.

This is what happens when you have a 4 hour delay in Wichita. It is however a good example of the idle mind at work. The story is true. I think I'm getting behind the curve with these boys.

Body Shop Investigation

I was running my Freightliner down Interstate Eighty,
When an idea popped into my head.
I’ll stop in Lincoln and see the boys,
The twenty-seventh street exit straight ahead.

I pulled up in front, the family name,
Was proudly displayed on the sign.
Collision repair’s the name of their game,
They saw me and said “Just in time”!

“Come over here, it’ll be of some interest”
As we went to the back of the shop.
There sat a truck, a two thousand two,
With damage to the front end and top.

He calmly explained, he’d bought it this way,
And to fix’er up was his intention.
He’d drive it a while, be livin’ in style,
This plan was not his invention.

“Dad it’s done all the time,
The title is clear, It’ll make someone a nice truck.
It needs a grill, a fender, a hood,
And then he said with some luck”.

“I’ll sell it cheap, make a dollar or two,
To hold someone up’s not my game.
We’ll do it right, use quality parts,
You’ll never know she’s been lame.”


Said I “That’s a plan, but I have a question,
What happened to this truck in the wreck?”
I could then plainly tell, by the look on his face,
His excitement was barely in check.

“It’s my favorite pastime, to examine an auto,
and determine from the crinkles and bends,
Exactly what happened, the forces at work,
It’s a science Dad, I don’t need to pretend.”

His Brother chimed in, “this isn’t a guess,
We use the knowledge we’ve gained.
To learn where to lift, and then where to pull,
To get a perfect, straight frame”

“When it’s on the rack, and we start to work,
We must have a full understanding,
Of how it was bent, rolled over or hit,
Or maybe just had a soft landing”

Then said I “Please, what happened here,
Can you tell me from what you can see.
Did it roll down a hill and under a truck,
Or hit a sand dune or maybe a tree?”

Skillful hands then rubbed the front fender,
And he said “Please look at the relation,
Of the damage here, compared to the front,
This was caused during extrication.

“There’s red paint here, and white over there,
And more red at different locations.”
These were excellent clues, for these CSI fans,
You could tell they love there vocation.

They then circled around to the right side,
And examined closely the wiper.
They pulled out some hair “This came from a deer”
A hint they were soon to decipher.

“We’ve considered all of the evidence,
The red and white paint plus the hair.
It’s seldom we can be this conclusive,
A slam dunk like this is quite rare.”

“Our investigation has come to an end,
The circumstances are really quite clear.
This truck was involved in a collision,
With Santa’s sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.”

This happened, I swear, as I’ve told you,
My boys had sure tickled their entra’ls.
What should have been stated, besides CSI,
They also watch Comedy Central.

Cliff Morrow
Copyright
August 2004