Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I was getting ready to go to the final night of golf league last night. I took off long pants to put on a pair of golf shorts. That right there was the first of several mistakes. The outside temp on my pick-up read 52 degrees on my way home. The stifling heat of a few days ago has turned into dry, crystal clear, cool air. It is 41 degrees this morning as I write. I love it.
Now for some of Cliff's Shorts:
*Marilyn payed dearly to sponsor a team in the local Chamber of Commerce golf scramble at the club. Thinking that it would be fun to have family members in the 4 person scramble she was able to get Tom, our Daughter Juli, Marilyn and myself as a team. Juli doesn't play golf. She could be a great golfer if she tried. She doesn't like the game... yet. After several holes were played in this 18 hole event Juli said, "I've figured it out." I asked, "figured out what?" "Why people play golf." I bit, "Okay, why do people play golf?" She said "It's to make the rest of their ordinary, crappy lives seem...well you know...somehow okay." She might be right.
We did okay. We came in 5 under par which slid us into the bottom of the first flight. Meaning no prize money. Marilyn got two flag prizes. One for closest tee shot on a par 3 and one for closest chip shot to the pin on a par 4. I will admit that having Tom there was kind of like bringing in a ringer. Let's just say we did okay off of the tee. A long ball hitter for sure.
*In church two weeks ago the person giving the children's sermon told the kids that his Mom used to tell him to clean up his room almost every day when he was a little boy. He then asked, "Does your Mom ever tell you to clean up your room?" A little boy raised his hand and a microphone was thrust in his face. He said "Yeah, well welcome to my world." The kids got timing.
*About a month ago it rained all night and the horses got out through a gate that was left unlatched. They trampled all over an area I had seeded to grass and was hoping to add it to the area I mow with our lawn mower. It's been so rough and weedy that I've been using a small tractor and a bush hog (mower) to mow it. I don't care for horses. I think you know that. It made me mad. They somehow put a foot print on every square foot of a newly seeded 1/3 of an acre. It had the appeareance of being a well planned act of terrorism. It rained all night Sunday night and into Monday morning. I get a call from the Sheriff's office. "Hi Cliff we have a report of two horses on county road 45 about 3 miles from the highway, it's muddy, raining, dark and the folks who called us are afraid a car might hit them. Do they belong to you?" I said "It's unlikely they haven't finished off the lawn around my house yet." "What?" she asked. "I said I'll count them and call you back." Marilyn was in Colorado checking on her Dad so I had no one to say "it's raining, they're your horses, you go count em." to. So there I was, in shorts, boots, and holding an umbrella and counting horses at 5:30 in the morning. I counted 10. The right number. I called the Sheriff. Did I mention I don't like horses.
*To explain the pics below, I want you to notice the eyes on the cat and horse. Do you think there is a chance that this farm is on an old nuclear waste site? Also if you'll notice, the horse doesn't like me either.


1 plus twins said...

ha ha ha too funny, cliff! i think the horse it taunting you cliff. na na na na!!! the animals are either sick with some nuclear thing or posessed to drive you crazy. lol

LZ Blogger said...

Cliff - I can explain the horse... it is so if they wander off you grass and on to the road, they act as reflectors so that the cars will see them. As for the CATS... I have NO IDEA! ~ jb///

Rachel said...

Wow, it has gotten cooler there!

You know Cliff, you are so lucky to have married a woman who loves horses!! I'm so glad that yours were not the ones out on the road. That would have been very hitonious!! I can only imagine the things you would have muttered under your breath if that had been the case!! That would have probably been more hitonious!!!

That cat looks like my Munchie! So cute, even with the eye thing. The horse is beautiful even if he/she is sticking their tongue out at you. "Nanny, nanny, boo, boo!!" LOL

Funny post Cliff!!! I'll bet the horses were only tramping those seeds in tight. You watch, that grass will grow!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

its cold here Cliff..real cold already.

well that horse with its eyes and tongue hanging out, is kinda freaky..

i hope u dont have childern in your corn cliff.

JunieRose2005 said...

LOL- funny post, Cliff!

Reminds me of some of our cow capers here!...a few times we've had cows get out and cops be called to the scene by our neighbors!

Jerry said...

I noticed that the horse is sticking his tongue out at you. I don't think he likes you either.

Jamie Dawn said...

Props to my pal Rachel for using "hitonious" in her comment. Bless you, my friend.

That horse clearly is taunting you. He knows you don't like him, and I don't think he cares.

What a great moment that had to be when that kid said "Welcome to my world."
My kids STILL hate it when I tell them they need to straighten up their rooms. My daughter usually has clothes all over the floor, and my son usually has a week's worth of snack wrappers and empty Gatorade bottles all over his floor. They are SO much like their dad!!

I'm sure the foursome golf was fun!!

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

LOL at the Equidae-horses non-verbal communication. ' gotta be one of Mr Ed's distant relatives. :0)

Lee said...

I am very disappointed in you, Cliff...where is a pic of you in those shorts????? ;)

And why is that horse poking its tongue at me?

It's good to have you back, by the way...your absence was duly noted! :)

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Julie is right. Why else would someone chase a white little ball for three hours?

Gette said...

That kitty looks like what our latest kitten will grow to look like.

Peter said...

In keeping with the Apple trend they are iCat and iHorse Cliff.

Paul said...

Be careful there, Cliff. You're liable to get y'self in trouble with Tracey from Carpenter Creek. You know how she loves horses.

Maria said...

I would not turn my back on either of these animals. Yes, the horse definitely doesn't like you. The nuclear waste idea needs to be checked out. Enjoyed your post as always.

wazza said...

Gidday Cliff,

I couldn't really tell as the photo of the horse was a bit dark, but are those ears on top of the horse or are they horns. If they're horns then that explains it all, he's just a little devil??
You're right about pursuing women....they're too expensive, though being pursued by a hoop snake could also be too expensive, especially for the doctor's bill if it catches you.

nora said...

I'm still waiting to see Cliff's shorts!

Cliff said...

Nora: If I could figure out how to make them white again, I'd post a picture.