Thursday, September 20, 2007

We've Got Trouble! Right Here In River City!

We have a fertilizer and chemical dealer located right on main street in Tekamah. They sell what you think they would sell. However it was brought to my attention that they have another 'product.' You can go in and get a butt rub. Men and women alike have been stopping in for one. Some of the ladies that have stopped have had trouble getting the words out of their mouths. It's hard to ask a strange man for a butt rub especially if you're elderly and those words have never trickled off of your tongue before.
I was appalled at first at the very thought. But peer pressure and curiosity finally got to me.
I entered the store under the guise of having to buy some chemicals to kill bugs in my grain bin. (wink, wink) I said, "uh, oh yeah, I'd also like a butt rub." It was supposed to be an order but it was phrased, by me, as more of a question. "Sure Cliff" was the reply. Well even as skeptic as I was, I must say it was excellent. You must try it for yourself. I hope there is a place near you where you can go and get one. I do think one can overdo it but having said that I'd recommend it to anyone. I can't understand why I was the first one in the family to do it. I asked Marilyn time and again to go to town and get one. I finally ended up being the one to give her one. She loved it. The man at the store told me that everyone who gets one almost always comes back for more.
My good friend Ralph has a birthday on Saturday the 22ND. I'm going to try and keep this a secret so please don't tell him, but I'm going to give Ralph a butt rub for his Birthday. I'm giddy. I would love to see the look on his face when he gets it. I know, I know, I won't be able to see his face when he gets it but maybe Char could be there to take a picture of his face when he gets his butt rub from me.
So that all of you guys from out of state don't miss out, I could give you a butt rub when you come for Blogstock '08. Sorry but I'll have to charge you for it. Okay, I know, there are a couple of you who will easily qualify for a free one. That of course will be at my discretion. (I'll bet you're thinking right now that I don't know the meaning of that word)
I know some of you probably would prefer to not wait until next July to try a butt rub for yourself so here's a picture of the product and a website.
I know it's good on chicken and pork. I have yet to try it on beef or veggies. I've been told it's great on everything. Just rub it in, rub it in.

25 comments:

Rhodent said...

LOL... I KNEW you were not REALLy referring to someone actually rubbing your butt, but tried to figure out as I read what the gimmick would be. Then again, you never know with politicians these days... ;o)

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Say Cliff, I know we are good friends and all but a simple handshake has worked in the past. Maybe we should just keep it that way.
Ralph

JunieRose2005 said...

Cliff,


My husband found this good 'Butt Rub'place at our local flea market!

He came home all excited and wanted to tell me all about it-and insisted I try it for myself.

To be honest, my preferences are on the simpler side...and if you're not very careful you can get too much 'Butt Rub'before you know it!

~~I'm more into just salt and pepper for these purposes~~ :)

Junie Rose

nora said...

Butt no!

Peter said...

I've never Butt Rubbed a chicken Cliff, butt I am prepared to take your word for it when you say its good, by the way is that for the rubber or the rubbee??

Angie said...

geez for a moment there I thought you were pulling a Senator Craig and you may be hauled in for indecent exposure of some sort....whew glad that's not the case....


thanks for stopping by and wishing me well....appreciate it!

Jamie Dawn said...

Ralph will thoroughly enjoy his Butt Rub, but don't try to give Char one or you might receive a Butt Kick courtesy of Ralph.

Butt Rubs!!!!
Yet another GREAT reason to attend Blogstock '08!!

wazza said...

Gidday Cliff,

I thought this was a real butt rub and would of liked (waal maybe liked is not the right word) perhaps some pictures of the butt rub or maybe a little video of the event, but no it's just some darn sauce for chicken or pork. Talk about a tease.

Jerry said...

Hey Cliff,
My birthday is during Blogstock '08. I think I should get a complimentary buttrub...on the house.

Rachel said...

Okay Cliff. I pictured someone rubbing your behind, but I could not imagine that you would let just anyone do that!! I thought maybe you enjoyed it so much that you had gotten a blister or something from all that rubbing!

Well...I guess if that happened then you could rub this butt rub on and see it that helps. Now THAT might send you to dancing a jig!!

Oh gosh, Ralph's BD is tomorrow and I've no time to get him a present. Darn!

nora said...

When Rachel says that she does not have enough time to get Ralph a present, she means that she does not have time to eat a whole box of chocolates.

1 plus twins said...

ha ha too funny i can't stop laughing. i can just picture you giving ralph a butt rub. ha ha i appreciate the offer at blogstock of free buttrubs but i will leave that for my hubby. lol

JUST A MOM said...

Cliff you are tooo much ... I am outa here... and reserve one for me will ya....

Rhodent said...

Maybe you could set up a booth at Blogstock to sell Butt Rub... Just a thought...

LZ Blogger said...

Cliff ~ Sounds like an IOWA product to me! "GO BIG RED"!

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

Bwahahahahaha! :0)

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

PS - Put JD in charge of the BUTT RUB Booth; it's bound to be a winner. ;)

Cliff said...

Great minds think alike Mike.

Lee said...

Hahahahahaha...my smile grew bigger and wider as I read along your post, waiting for the punch-line...or butt-line! What a great name for the product! ;) A sure-fire way to get people talking about it and we all know "word of mouth" is the the best form of advertising.

poopie said...

I bet it's worth the humiliation of askin' for it ;)

Paul said...

I could swear I left a comment here earlier, Cliff. It was world-class, too. I can't remember what I said now.

But this was a comical post. Enjoyed it twice.

Gel said...

Oh Cliffers, I already knew Gem will relish your humor even when you add "ARS-scenic" to your cooking... At blogstock, I'm sure he'll give the bottoms up approval as long as said butt rubs are not due to assignation.

I could go on and on (and you already know about my fascination with the mOOn ;)) because of that "diarrhea of the fingers (or mouth) I'm known for in real life, butt I'd prefer to imagine Ralph's reaction to his "Cheeky" BD gift!

Dan said...

Do you people see what I have had to put up with all these years?

Miki said...

YOu almost had me, Cliff! Almost!