Thursday, November 03, 2005

A Pane

I've posted a picture or two of myself. Most of you know I'm,, well, "fully developed" as a suit salesman tactfully once said. So tell me why, the one fly in the house, can't see me. It's as though I were a pane of glass. Invisible.
The only light in the house, is on, here in the office. It's past my bedtime. I'm ready to write something witty, and bam. Attack of the housefly. He's trying to fly through me. He hits me in the cheek, nose, ear, forehead, gets behind the lens on my glasses, then tries my lips. I swat, regain my train of thought, then round two. Last night I got so angry I started trying to swat him in mid air. I think I tore a rotator cuff AND knocked my glasses off and they hit the fax machine before they hit the floor. I've seen flies act this way in a window. WARNING TO FLIES AND MICE. Build your own %#@%& house to get into in the fall.
Any guesses on why our wire handled fly swatters have bent handles? I suppose picking on a fly makes me a bully. But while I may still have the strength, I'm going to continue trying to drive them thru tables and chairs. I've never done it yet. But I'll keep trying. If flies could communicate, they'd say the same thing my kids used to tell their friends. "Just don't make him mad".

19 comments:

Rachel said...

I know what you mean! One darn pesky fly can bug the daylights out of a person!! There was one in here today trying that with me. It looked like it was about half grown. Needless to say, it never made it to full grown!!

Cheyenne said...

Thank you for making me laugh before I trot off to bed.

JUST A MOM said...

Are they corn flys????

Jerry said...

I would not want to be a fly in your house. I've seen you in action with that fly swatter. You truly are the Sultan of Swat.

Are the flies somehow related to the "Cliff Stinks" theme? Do they seem to swarm around you and only you?

John Goerzen said...

Look on the bright side, Cliff: at least it wasn't a bee.

Peter said...

If you have any intention of ever visiting Oz Cliff you had better check the fly warnings first, I swear, (literally) in some parts we have more flys than any other place on earth.

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

That can be so frustrating! Did you ever play the mosquito buzzing around your ear at 2AM game? - it makes me psycho!

Dan said...

Obviously you must be done with the field work.

Rachel said...

Uh oh! After what Jerry said he might have to give back the ceremonial cornknife!!

Miki said...

Hi, am new to your blog, love the fly story, me too, they make me nuts. Have had one flying around this house for a week, driving me and only me insane! Can't seem to locate the flyswatter, the rest of the family must have thrown it out!
check out my blog: www.thoughtsofaramblingmiki.blogspot.com
I would welcome a new reader, you can be one of the 5! HA HA only kidding, not sure how many folks read it.

Jamie Dawn said...

I think flies go nuts in the autumn. They seem to get aggressive. I'm just glad they aren't really big. That would not be a good thing.

Very funny post. Good writing! Made me laugh.

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Cliff
So going through my head is this image of you running around the office, bent fky swatter in hand, no glasses, working up a sweat trying to kill a fly. There is never a camera around when you need it.
Ralph

Cliff Morrow said...

Rachel, you're right on. The cornknife, that time honored bond that is a symbol of farmer Brotherhood, is indeed, in danger of being taken back from Jerry. We don't want to do that, it could get ugly.
Cheyenne, thanks for the visit, I'll be over to look at ya.

John, Bee's and I don't get along well. I swell up. Even more.

Peter, If I could go to sleep taking off and wake up in Aus. I might be there(except for this small matter of money) Love to visit. Maybe not during the summer.

Mike, the misq. seem to get me to slap my self in the ear. I hate that.

Dan, we're not done with the field work. We have enough tractors if you care to participate.

Hey Miki, Welcome, there are few readers in this group you need to be careful of but that will be up to find out who they are. I'll be over later. Thanks for the visit.

I made JD laugh. That makes my day. She is the master. No she's my mistress. No,, she's a heckuva good writer. Thanks JD

Ralph bring your camera on Thanksgiving and I'll let you get a pic. Just one.

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

NOTE: I stopped by Miki's blog and tried to leave a comment. However, comments are restricted to "team members".

Cliff Morrow said...

Miki, why can't I leave a comment on your blog. Whats a team member.
cmon, I'm a really good team player.

Miki said...

I don't know what a team member is, I guess that is why I haven't had comments in a while! UGH! I am new to this blogger stuff, and no wizz kid when it comes to the computer either, I guess I will have to try to fix this one! Sorry guys and gals!

Jerry said...

No, don't take away my cornknife! It's the only time in my life that someone placed a farming tool in my hand, and then didn't make me use it. I'll be nice.

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Darn bugs attracted to light. Cliffers, you could have typed in the pitch black dark! (I'm so understanding. ;) Those flies are annoying as you aptly said.

Susi said...

Don't go to Australia! Our flies are tame compared to theirs. Aussie Flies go up your nose and into your ears...& you can't open your mouth. Everyone has to wear nets or tassels to keep them away. The Aussie 'salute' is a waving hand keeping away the hoards of rude flies. I was grateful to get back to our 'domesticated' North American Flies. I won't complain about the flocks of flies in the spring that seem to hatch out in my house, or those who take refuge in the warmth. I appreciate that ours are 'Civilized Flies'.