Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Yes Deer

About 2 years ago, we had to cut down the last 10 cottonwoods, (circa 1917) that surrounded our house, . We've spent a lot of time and money and water on their replacements this summer. It's been a record long, hot, dry summer. The trees made it thru the summer, lost their leaves, and have wet soil to sit in going into winter. Success, UNTIL whitetail breeding season. Two nights ago, a buck apparently came to visit our yard. The fifty acres of trees and forty acres of wetlands, on our farm, isn't BIG enough for him. He comes to our yard and rubs the bark from one of our young red maples. From the bottom up about four feet, bare, on a six foot tree. He was marking his territory. He doesn't know it's already mine. The tree will die. So hopefull will the deer.
The deer take the first thirty feet of our fields, fine. They get hit by our cars because they stand there like deer in the headlights. (sorry) They eat big holes in fields and then lay down to make a mini-crop circle. But this is war.
LEAVE THE TREES ALONE.
I have eaten venison. It is okay but I'd rather have some sort of beef. For this reason i've always said I don't hunt deer, because I was always afraid I might get one. These 'timber rats', as I call them, are very destructive. They all have twins and many have triplets.
All of this brings me to the joke of the day. What do you call a deer with no eyes??
Answer: No eye dear.
My favorite sound, a knock at the door. "Mr Morrow, would it be okay to hunt deer on your place"? "Yes, but I have a new policy, shoot two and pick one". Oh lighten up folks. I'm just trying to cut my herd to about two hundred.

17 comments:

Peter said...

Ya just know you're gonna get some flack on that one Cliff.
City folk, or those of a "mixture of yellow and blue" don't understand about Kangaroo culls here either.
Have you caught up with my poetry site yet?

Cliff Morrow said...

Hi Peter, explain mixture of yellow and blue.
No I haven't gone to your poetry site yet but will.

Jerry said...

(in a girley voice) But Cliff, they're sooooo cute!!

Anonymous said...

You think you've go troubles? My neighbor looked out her window a couple of winters ago and there were three deer licking the road salt accumulation off her brand new pick-up. One was a buck with a trophy caliber rack. She ran out in the snow and scared them off and fortunately she got there before any scratches were made.
I've heard that if you put Irish Spring soap in the foot of panty hose and hang it from the tree the deer won't come close. I've also heard that hanging white plastic grocery bags in the trees will scare them off. Supposedly white signals danger to deer (when they're scared don't they lift thier tails and show the white patch on their rear?) Plus they claim the bags russle in the breeze and the noise is suppose to have a scary effect on them. I'm sure the bag theory came from some multi-million dollar government study and don't know if they took into account that Nebraska has wind not breezes.
Good luck.

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rachel said...

But Cliff, they're sooooo cute!!

I had to say that for Jerry!! Sounds like you have a bumper crop alright. Go figure, that with all the trees he is attracted to one in your yard! Now don't that make you feel special??

Okay deer hunters! You know where to go to hunt now! I'm not for killing for no reason but when they are pests then I understand.

Cliff Morrow said...

Dear annon. I'm a fraid if I asked my wife for some of her pantyhose,,, I'd get 'the look' again.
I'm even more leary to go around and ask the neighbor ladies for theirs.

Rachel said...

Sorry about deleting that one comment but I spelled something wrong, and I hate to do that so I posted again!

Just post your address and panty hose will come flooding in from all over! Then your wife will really be wondering what's going on!! Everyone might wonder just what you are REALLY up to!

Jamie Dawn said...

I've visited Peter's place three times now. He is an Aussie with "Bush Poetry" that we in the states are unfamiliar with. Bush is not referring to the president, but the outback kind of bush. He has some crazy & funny stuff there.

Deer are so sweet and beautiful, but I understand the need to keep their numbers down. You have to protect your trees somehow. I love the line in your post about them lying down and making crop circles.

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

As a youngster, I used to hunt White Tail Deer when I lived in Wisconsin and pheasant with the dogs in Illinois.

As I look back on it I remember some really great times - and a lot of being wet and very cold, too. ;)

Peter said...

Mixing yellow and blue makes the colour green, Greens, here at least, give us all the hoohar about what we can't do.
I'm for conservation but not at the expence of common sense.

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Sorry about the tree. Still, you know how i feel about adorable deer: in our backyard forest.
I'm cracking up at the pantyhose suggestion and your witty reply. So enDEERing.THANK YOU BOTH! :) :) :)

JUST A MOM said...

Cliff, can you put some paint on the trunk of the tree? We do that out here alot for bugs and such. Maybe Kim needs to come to your place to hunt.

Kim said...

Cliff - Jaye told me to get right over here... only problem is deer season doesn't open until dawn tomorrow. Think you could shoo him to south Mississippi before the sun comes up? I'll take care of him for you...

Kim said...

BAM!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh I hate deer..they run out in the middle of the road in the middle of the night and wonder why thier kin is splattered all over the roadside..

I hate deer...

Dan said...

I love Deer. They run out in the road in the middle of the night...see, I own a body shop. They give their lives so my little girl can eat, as long as it's not venison. Hey Cliff, check my blog, I'll write about the deer whistles.