Ode To Ralph

Ralph was here for 24 hours
Just enough time to smell the flowers.
And play some golf and eat a steak
And home grown corn and spuds we'd baked.

He left early morn on Monday last
No sun to see, it was overcast.
He made it home to see his sweetie,
And now we're hoping he comes back soon and brings his wife and helps around the farm like harvesting and mowing and the like, and if we get enough work out of him we'll get the pontoon out and go up the river for supper and that neat restaurant. (If'n he'll buy agin.)

THE NEWS

I was just reading an online news story. It was quoting someone from the U.S. Justice Department's (are you ready for this) 'Public Integrity Section.'
I don't care who you are, that right there is funny.
After the tears from laughing subsided I got to thinking;
1. Really...there are actually people in Washington in charge of Integrity?
2. They're not doing their job so we need to fire them and save more money. We could use it to add to the 100 million in cost cutting the administration is pursuing. Lets see, 10 trillion minus 100 million.
At least we're making progress. (kind of like dipping a gallon of water out of the ocean.)

Planting

I've been planting and meetieing. (new word I just made up, it means: going to meeting after meeting, or 2,a hopeless feeling)
I'm down to just planting after the banquet I emcee'd last night.
Don't forget me. I'll be around one day to visit your blog.
I've got an old friend visiting for a bit on Sunday and am really looking forward to that.
So I'll be going east and then west and then east and west add infinity on my planter tractor.

I had a Dr appt. I told him "Doc, I can't quit singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
He said "It sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome."
I asked, "Is it common?"
He said, "It's not Unusual."
That joke is to help me determine my blog's demographics. If you got it you're old. Like me.

Meeting The Deadline Is Easy

6:45 AM Phone call.
Me: Good Morning, This is Cliff. You're at work early this morning.
Fran: Yes Cliff I recognized your voice and yes I'm always here. (I think I must have a distinct voice because most people say they knew it was me with a 'well duh' in their voice.)
Me: I've almost got my taxes ready but I've got too many meetings to get done.
Fran: Well I've been wondering about you. I'll file an extension on your behalf.
Me: Thanks. Bye.
I love small towns.
Also:
1: Procrastination is a wonderful thing.
2: I wanted to keep it legal because Timmy is going to 'crack down' on tax cheats. (and he DOES know what he's looking for.)
3. Or I could just not pay them all together and get a job in DC. (Dang! I've already sent in my estimated quarterly payments. Now I'll have to keep farming.)

Overheard An Hour Ago.

Let me set this up.
I was in the kitchen working a bag of radishes I had purchased.
My first grader grandaughter was doing what she likes to do best. She was kneeling at the coffee table in the livng room while writing a story with her newly acquired reading and writing ability. She can sound out most words. She was having some trouble this time and asked her grandma how to spell a word. She usually has grandma's full attention but this time there was a good movie playing. The conversation.
C: "Grandma?"
G: No response.
C: "Grandma?"
G: "Yes C." (said while still staring at the TV.)
C: "How do you spell knock?"
G: No response.
C: (louder this time) "Grandma, how do you spell knock?"
G: "K N"
C: (even louder) "No Grandma, how do you spell knock?"
G: "K N" (I'm beginning to shake from laughing but at least I'm not laughing outloud)
C: (Now interupting.) "I said how do you spell knock Grandma?"
G: "K N O" (still staring at the tv and not nearly as tickled as I)
C: (Now standing and walking over to grandma and talking loud enough as though she was talking to me.) "GRANDMA, WHAT I ASKED IS HOW DO YOU SPELL KNOCK?"
G: "C, some letters are silent. The K is there even though you can't hear it. It's k n o c k."

My grandaughter has now had her first lesson in logic, meaning that sometimes there isn't any involved. Or as they say; Women wouldn't have been the ones riding side saddle.

April Fools Day In The Flock

This is what happens when all of the V leaders conspire to have some fun by flying in big circles. "Begin when I start honking, this will be cool."