Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Reverse Your Mind

Have you ever done something or had something said to you that made your mind go into reverse? Something like thinking, 'I was sure this shirt had a pocket on the chest' as you put it on. And then when you get home from the meeting and take the shirt off you find that someone had moved the pocket to the inside of the shirt and they also moved the tag to the outside. Your mind goes into reverse and you think of the people in the meeting and how you told them you were a 'detail' kind of person while you sat there with the back side of your seams showing. And you begin going over the recent past. The recent past would be since you put that shirt on inside out and headed into public to make a good impression.
I had a vivid 'reverse the mind' incident this past Christmas Eve. Let me tell you my thought pattern and what triggered it and that it took about 2.3 seconds to retrace the following steps, which were my recent past.
In preparation for our church Christmas Eve candle light service I:
1. Took a shower.
2 Got dressed in slacks, a new shirt, and a new sweater.
3. Traveled to town to a 4:30 PM choir practice before the 5:00 PM service.
4 I stood in front of my choir for fifteen minutes at that practice to direct them and just visit. We all like to visit.
5. I sat in the front row in the front pew directly in front of the choir. My wife sits in the front row.
6 I got up and directed a wonderful choir anthem during the service.
7. The pastor had two Deacons help with communion. I was one of them. I stood up front facing the congregation and holding a tray with the loaf of bread. The congregation came forward down the middle aisle to take communion. We were centered on that aisle.
8. At the end of the service I followed the choir as they processed out of the sanctuary. We were holding our candles, following the pastor, right through the middle of the crowd.
9. We were standing outside the main room in the Narthex when I greeted my wife who said the words that made my mind race back over my recent past.
In a whisper my bride said, "You should zip up."
Reverse.
One of my brothers heard this story on Christmas day and said that forgetting to zip up is much less embarrassing than forgetting to unzip. Man I'm really looking forward to that day.

22 comments:

Tracey said...

LOL...

My mother is in reverse quite often. Like when she went shopping all over town, headed to the dressing room and found she'd put her pants on backwards. You remember the pants with those little sewn pleats, right? Well, perhaps not if you're a guy, but they had elastic waists and my mother would wear them nearly every day. That day she wore them backwards. And to town... And that's not the only occasion, but I'll just leave it with that.

Hope your new year is a good one!

Jerry said...

Cliff,
I can only hope that you were wearing your new underwear that day too. You know, show off all your new clothes.

Is it still safe to mention that I'm a friend of Cliff's when I stroll into Tekamah? Maybe you should lay low for a few weeks, until the talk dies down.

Jim said...

Hi Cliff, Happy New Years! Happy New Year to the family too!

Cliff, Mrs. Jim (today's her Birthday!) is my fashion director. She checks everything I wear and feels it is her job to see if I'm ZIPPED OR UNZIPPED.
It runs about 66% ZIPPED.

That is nice she does that, I feel as I get older I forget more and more.
But let us not divulge (well, it's your blog, maybe they will--on mine I'd zap'm) into a getting old thing for this post, please.

I love your reverse order, just thinking, you did everything in correct order except for one.
..
Oh yes, thank you, GEL, for your visit and nice comment. One never knows what or who you will find when you Google "Cliff Morrow!"
..

Jim said...

Forgot to say, you are still 'passing.' As a college teacher, I would give you a "B" for missing No. 2. 8/9 = 88.9%
Some teachers would give you partial credit for No. 2 anyway, and would boost you up into an "A."
Or it could 'curve' up to an "A."

Isn't that good to know!
..

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I'm so glad that's never happened to me. ;)

Janell said...

I one had a similar experience when I was in the high school marching band; At the end of the 3-4 mile North Platte Rodeo days parade,someone told me that not ony was my zipper down,my left jacket tail was stuck in the back of my pants. I had to wonder why they hadn'tmentioned it about 4 miles sooner...
Well, Happy new year to you & your's!

nora said...

Working at the coffeehouse for seven years I was often the first person that people saw in the morning. At least once a day I was pantomiming zipping pants, buttoning buttons, de-tagging new clothes or wiping lipstick off of teeth. A lot of people were dense about the clues I was giving, so I'd try the say-it-softly route. Most times I wound up shouting YOUR FLY IS OPEN.

One time AVS and I were on a local morning television show promoting the coffeehouse. We were both tired and really nervous. After the show ended we headed home to take a nap. AVS realized that his fly was open, a look of horror crossed his face and he looked at me and said, "Did you do that?" We both laughed until we cried.

Rachel said...

HAHAHAHAHA!! Thanks for the laugh Cliff. I suppose in church no one was looking in that particular area, except your wife! Wives tend to notice those things about their husbands! Isn't it a good thing?

I have put my pants on backwards but noticed it right away. I have worn my underwear wrong side out but since no one saw it, it was okay.

Hope you are keeping warm! With that cold air you need to keep everything zipped as much as possible!

Peter said...

Cliff Hi,mind your reverse, just thought I should try out your theory and as my mind seems to be semi permanently in what you have described as reverse order I have totally lost my train of thought and just can't remember how to finish a sentence I'm just gonna turn the computer off and see if that works......

Miki said...

Cliff, thanks yo for that very "human" story. We all do silly things, but this goes into the spinach in your teeth, missing button, stain on your tie thing, or a rip in the pants place. SOrry that you had to endure the thoughts of the embarrassing times, but just think how nice and how polite the folks you encountered were, they didn't embarrass you, they just accepted that you had a little blunder when getting ready for what sounded like a wonderful service and Christmas Eve! Hope you Christmas was wonderful and your New year keeps shinning bright!

Sandy said...

Ha,ha,ha,ha. You know after you get as old as I am you don't notice things like that, but I bet the younger crowd is still talking about it, hahahaha.
I've worn my slip over shirts on backwards and never even noticed it until that night when I slip it off and it's turned right side. Like Rachel...I have also worn my panties inside out a time or two.

Remember when it was in style for kids to wear their clothes inside out with seams & tags showing? Well I was in style for a brief time them, but it was by accident.

Gette said...

I had to check all my clothing before I felt it safe to comment...

LZ Blogger said...

Cliff ~ I of course assumed that the Mrs. was referring to your mouth and NOT your slacks... but I'm just sayin'...
Have a GREAT 2008! ~ jb///

Lucy Stern said...

At least you didn't forget to put your bra on....

JunieRose2005 said...

Once I knew a lady who had the same shoes in 2 different colors....so ends up one time, going out with one of each color on!! (NO! It wasn't me!) :)

Lol- once I remember my husband put his underwear on backwards- yep!

Junie

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Cliff
That is funny. I am so glad nothing like that has ever happened to me. And if it did, I mean does, - I'll deny it.
Ralph

1 plus twins said...

oh cliff are you telling me that not only did you forget to close the barn door but once wore your shirt inside out?? my god it won't be long before you do forget to open the barn door!! you poor thing. ha ha

Paul said...

I coulda swore I posted a silly comment here. That's a good story, though. Funnier the second time around.

Well, Happy New Year, buddy.

Jamie Dawn said...

Happy New Year!!
I'm still on vacation, but I wanted to stop by for a quick visit.
So, you were unzipped for the entire evening and no one mentioned it until AFTER the service?? I'm sure you caused many a chuckle that evening amongst all the congregation.
Doesn't it feel good to have made peoples' holidays cheerful?
Let's hope you continue to bring cheer to others throughout 2008.
:-)

Marc said...

Happy belated New Year. Wish you a happy and prosperous year, Cliff.

I usually wear Jeans, so the zipper condition is usually not obvious, thank the lord!

I now Author at FauxNews.org . We could use you as another Author if you have an interest. Just tell Wino (AKA Don Mintner)

If you like bird/wildlife Pix, check out our latest from the Texas coast.

"http://cabinwood.blogspot.com/index.html" Birds

Marc said...

Messed that up. Just enter

http://cabinwood.blogspot.com/index.html to view.

TamWill said...

Oh my goodness, I know I shouldnt have but it was hard not to laugh.

Just a few months ago, I left the house with two different colored shoes on.
Quite embarrassing I must say.