Our New Improved Marriage

While seated in our library, yes that library, I often pick up our latest issue of Prevention magazine and read with interest on the various ways they've been able to come up with to improve the mind, body, soul, and relationships.
I'm usually able to resist the temptation to improve myself but one article struck me as something that I could do that wouldn't include....well you know, effort on my part.
It told how with one simple tip I could greatly improve a long term relationship. And then I thought that well, I'm certainly in a long term relationship, and even though I haven't recognized any trouble signs, I'm going to see what I can do to spice things up a bit.
The article said the trick was to start treating your mate like you did when you first met.
My mind went immediately to the days when Marilyn and I first met at what would now be called a community college. She was a Veterinary Technology student from Denver and I was majoring in Agri-Business. The college was about half way between our homes in the small western Nebraska town of Curtis. After we started dating we would usually meet for lunch each day in the school's cafeteria and dreamily look at each other while we ate. I just could not look at that sweet young thing enough so it hit me that I need to start doing that again. I'll start looking at her. That will do the trick.
I finished 'reading' and went into the kitchen for breakfast. Breakfast had already been lovingly prepared for me by my bride and she was setting it on the table. I usually sit facing east and she sits to my left facing south. I saw my chance as she delicately applied a bit of strawberry jam to a piece of wheat toast whilst engrossed in the TV. I began dreamily looking into her eyes. Well actually I dreamily looked at the side of her head as she watched the morning news. She did however immediately notice my increased attentiveness. She turned toward me and looked into my eyes and said...No actually she yelled, " WHAT?" Okay, right here I'm going to interject a word of warning to you men out there. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. This should only be attempted by a well trained professional, which by the way, I apparently am not.
I began to chuckle a bit. That wasn't smart either. She continued, "What's wrong with how I look?" "I haven't had time to do something with my hair you know, I've been fixing your breakfast!" She continued with a raised voice and I was still just smiling at this point. "What do you want?" "Look Buster I didn't get hardly any sleep last night so don't get any ideas, just forget it." About here I was really beginning to think that the author of the article in the magazine was really some kind of genius because our relationship was for sure somehow magically changing right before my eyes.
I knew I needed to take command of the situation and be the calming influence. I've always had a knack for being quick with the right words at the right time. I said "Uh, could you please pass the jelly."
I've decided to not read Prevention Magazine anymore. I'm not sure our marriage can stand much more improvement.