Saturday, December 09, 2006

Why Can't A Woman Be More Like A Man?

That song that is discussing the way women think, in My Fair Lady, is a back and forth between Prof. Higgins and Pickering. The thoughts of that song and our high school production of it, recently got me in trouble.
Marilyn and I went shopping in Omaha last week. Something I will normally avoid like the plague. Especially since she was going to buy fabric for curtains. Let me say here that fabric, still on the bolt, in large quanities, has the same effect on me as kryptonite has on Superman.
BUT, she was going to buy some lumber to add to the window to aid in the curtain hanging and I wanted input on that part because it would surely involve me.
So we came out of the store and I was totally drained. I crawled to the car on my hands and knees to begin my recovery. As we got in and headed toward the interstate Marilyn made a movement with her hands and arms that indicated to me that she had forgotten something. And she had, then she said, "But just forget it I'm coming down next week and I'll get it then." Frustrated with herself she continued, "Man, I'm getting stupid-er as I get older, what am I going to do about it?"
So the above song hit my mind and I thought this was an opportunity to have a little fun. "You need to learn to think like a man." I confidently advised.
Turns out that the preceding statement was akin to firing across the bow of the U.S.S. Constitution. Not wise.
We drove silently for about 3 minutes and as we merged onto I680 North I could feel her eyes boring a hole in the side of my head. So I said what any intelligent man would say.
"Oh nothing," she said, "I'm just undressing you with my eyes." Then she said, "Wanna take a shower with me when we get home... I'm just trying to think like a man?"
Here she stares again and then continued, "There, I feel smarter already, do I sound smarter?"
Upon further review I think she could have selected the lumber by herself.


Maria said...

Oh Cliff, you so deserved her wrath! Talk about a foot in the mouth. In your case, you were busy exchanging right and left feet.

I hope she has forgiven yoy and you are not sleeping in the kennel. It could be cold out there with the boarders this time of year.

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Been there - done that. We can't win you know. But you are smarter than me - I would have gone back to the shower issue and that would have really gotten me in trouble.

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

I would have said, "Yes and yes!" I'm thinkin' if you got the whole shower deal going - it's all good!!! Cliff, you are sooooooo smooth. :0)

Anonymous said...

Hoo Boy Cliff, the instant I read the post title I just knew you were in trouble, and you can trust my judgement on matters of this kind believe me.

Jerry said...

Dragged to the fabric store vs. thoughtless comment. I'd call that a draw. You could always plead "Post fabric store traumatic stress".

Anonymous said...

Smart lady, your wife, Cliff...that will teach you to open your mouth and utter an inanity! ;)

Jim said...

It looks like a good deal to me.
Cliff, did you turn down her shower offer? Surely not!

Cheb said...

My Dear Cliff,
It appears you DID learn the lessons about the love of a woman and her FABRIC! (As a fellow quilter, I'm pleased that one more man has learned this lesson!!) Tee hee!! Merry Christmas, and thank you for the witty reparte through the past years!!

Galt-In-Da-Box said...

If you're married to one of those mail-order brides, you're safe. If the other half is an American woman, stick you with a fork, you're done.
You'll never do another right thing again, best-case scenario.
Worse case, make the divorce lawyer an asbestos one, because the ACLUnatic on the other side will stick red-hot pokers in him.

Anonymous said...

Nice one, Cliff. I guess, like me, you sometimes only open your mouth to change feet.

Rachel said...

Open mouth, insert foot. Eat crow for dinner.

Miki said...

HOw does the shoe leather taste prepared ina way that is certainly not suitable for human consumption????? Make that lady a nice dinner and eat in silence, Marilyn will appreciate that one! Thank goodness she has a sense of humor.....

Paul said...

Hey! I'm gonna try that with my wife. Sounds pretty good.

Cheyenne said...

Never ever under estimate the power of a woman. I must say, though, your post got me to thinking, not to mention laughing loudly.

Claire said...

Cliff, that's hilarious!


Kendra Lynn said...

LOL...Scott and I were both laughing as I read this out loud to him. :)
Thanks for time, be more careful before firing a shot like that!


1 plus twins said...

oh my god that is too damn funny. i just love your wife!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I have said it before, and i will say it again..I love your wife..plain and simple..

Felecia said...

Give your wife a virtual (and oh-so-manly) HIGH FIVE from me.

TamWill said...

What a quick and funny wife you have Cliff. You asked for it and you got it! hehehe what a riot.

Angie said...

Seems by her quick wit and logic, men may have a smaller brain ;)

~Angie :)

GEL said...

I think she beat out "My Fair Lady" with her wit. Marilyn, you sure have a cheering crowd here, me included!
(Cliff, I noticed your attempt at some sympathy here: "I crawled to the car on my hands and knees to begin my recovery." It didn't work.

klank said...

"Wanna take a shower with me when we get home... I'm just trying to think like a man?"

bet you wonna see MORE

* wink wink ;)

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