Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Farm Monopoly!

This story would be better without this preface, but lest someone gets the wrong idea about farming, let me explain. I paid myself a very modest wage from my farm corporation last year. I guarantee that it was less than you or your spouse make. Even if you're retired.
I just looked, and last year I put $358,000 into my farm bank account. I paid out $356,000 in bills. It's been this way since I started farming. It's almost like we're using 'play' money. You take a piece of paper to the bank (a check) and get a piece of paper from the bank. (a paid off note ) There are no GET OUT OF JAIL FREE cards in this game. You never see any money. I now, after 35 years of hard work, am the sole owner of Baltic Avenue. With no hotels, I might add. It will cost you about $10 to land on me, but don't worry, I quit collecting rent, years ago.
This 'real' game of Monopoly requires a good banker and you must trust each other. He must know that you will do exactly as you say you will. Having said all of that....
The Story:
A couple of days ago, Marilyn and I headed to town. We stopped at the mailbox to get the mail, and then sped toward town. She opened a letter. With an excitement in her voice that would rival the Pilgrims when they spotted land, she said , "you have a corn check from Cargill." " Wow, THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!" She looked at me, "Do we have to share this with the bank?" I smiled as big as I could and said "NO". 'We don't have to share that with the bank, they get it all."
I rolled a 5. Hmmmm... Mediterranean Avenue, man, if I only had $60.


Dan said...

Maybe you should try Candyland.

Peter said...

Yeah, but aint it a grand lifestyle Cliff?

Miki said...

We are in the same boat, Cliff. We get the deposits and poof! They are gone, to everyone but us! I guess you could say it is the American way, but what a ride it is! Hope you get to won Boardwalk someday, I will see you there, because that is my goal!

Rachel said...

Like Peter said, Ain't it a grand life though?

It would be kinda sad to get a huge check like that and then the bank gets it all. What a let down.

Well, life on Baltic Ave. isn't all that bad! You can smell the roses pretty well there I'd say!

Pass go and collect $200!!

Babble said...

With all that property you could play Star wars Monopoly. That way you get crop circles and then charge people to see them!

Or build a field of dreams?

Ok I am stetching..LOL (more caffiene here please!)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

man, i just had a nervous breakddown..

poor marylin, i think she had it spent as soon as she opened it:)

Triplet Dads said...

cliff, I don't suppose the big ethonol push will increase margins on corn? Sure would be nice if it did.

Triplet Dads said...

or is it beans? can't remember which...

Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

Woo-hoo! ^5! You must be the top hat.

Cliff Morrow said...

It is an ethanol plant we're trying to snag, here in the county Marty. Well, actually a bio diesel plant is getting a lot of attention too.
Yeah, either would serve to narrow the basis. The basis on corn has been obscene here for at least a year.

Jerry said...

I've been down this path before:

"Go to jail.
Go directly to jail.
Do not pass Go.
Do not collect $200."

I don't recommend it.

Jamie Dawn said...

Great post! I laughed out loud and then read it to my hubby who laughed as well. We KNOW the feeling!!!!
My hubby worked SOoooo hard at our 40 acres of mandarins, and we just could never get out of debt.
We had a few great years, and we would get all excited thinking that that money would keep rolling in, but then we'd have bad years that obliterated the good ones.
Agriculture is a hard business.
We were able top raise our kid on a gorgeous ranch though, so we did benefit from having that property.
It was a relief to sell it though, and be out of debt.
I can relate to Marilyn as well. My hubby would come home with gobs of cash from deals he made with vendors. I'd be thinking, hey this is cash under the table right, so it's OURS to spend... right??? Wrong!
Do NOT pass GO. Do NOT collect ANY money!!
I feel your pain!!

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

The pay may not be great but the perks are worth a lot.
You wake up and look out at the fields, or the cottonwoods down by the river - I look into my neighbors kitchen window.
You get to drive into town - I live there.
You have people wave to you - I have people wave that one special finger at me.
You get to be outside alot - I am okay here I get to be in windowless rooms but we do get the benefit of artifical light.
You know your neighbor pretty well - I can't even find out which one reported me for violating the subdivision covenant I broke.
And in the end . . . the bank balances are about the same.
As a side note - Mediterranean Avenue has always been over valued.

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rachel said...

Ralph, was the cartridge in a bare tree the breaking of the subdivision covenant??

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. Then the news media makes it sound like because of ethonal and biodiesel, we farmers are going to have it made. What they don't tell us (and maybe they don't even know) is that the price of ethonal and bio that's made from our corn is priced at the the going rate of crude oil, not the price that was paid to the farmer for corn. And as long as the two top men in the White House are oil men do you think it will change?

Cliff Morrow said...

Ralph, you must have a subdivision covenant against being a good neighbor. Is that the one you broke?

Felecia said...

It was a bizarre mental image your post gave this city girl; a very large stalk of corn held its arm around your shoulder while expressing its sorrow for the company cutbacks.

Jamie Dawn said...

Lammy told me he senses great profits in your near future. Think happy Lammy thoughts!!

Jamie Dawn said...

Happy & Blessed Easter to you, Marilyn and family.

Paul said...

And still...you are the backbone of this country.

Wish a happy Easter weekend to you and all your family(s).

Peter said...

Happy Easter to you and yours Cliff.

Britmum said...

Cliff I have missed you. I haven't had a minute to visit anyones blog. I am looking forward to catching up.

Have a Brilliant Easter with the kiddies.

Take care,


poopie said...

When I pass by farmer Joey out in the fields this afternoon I'm gonna stop and ask him what street he's got. I'm willing to bet it ain't Park Place ;) Keep on kickin' up that dust son!

Susi said...

I ask from Life:
Enough to live on and raise my kids
Work that makes me happy to get up & satisfied when I go to my rest

I know you can think of more!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

just wanted to stop over and wish you and your bride a Happy Easter Cliff;)

Jerry said...

It feels like a game of Monopoly around here too. It's hard to tell if we're winning or losing.

I hope you and Marilyn have a great Easter. Go bite the ears off of a chocolate bunny!

Kendra Lynn said...

Happy Easter, and I hope that, someday, you get to keep that whopper of a check and spend it on something. :)
My dad's dad and uncle were farmers...corn, and beef cattle. :)

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

This brings back memories b/c I LOVED aquiring Baltic and Med. Ave in Monopoly. Why? Of course it's because they are PURPLE. (you know how much I love purple if you've seen my blogs.) Another reason was my ruthless business strategy: Wonderful place to park hotels and milk the othe players!!

Fun Post Cliff. I've missed your blog. Been very busy passing "GO" without collecting more than pollen recently!

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