Help!

Okay folks, here's the deal. This Saturday nite is the annual alumni banquet here in our small town. Traditionally the graduates come to celebtrate their 10, 35, 40, 50, and 60 years. We will usually have 3 to 4 hundred people in attendance. They have made it a habit of asking me to be the Master of Ceremonies, and that is again the case this year. (for about 20 years running)
I need your graduate, or reunion stories and jokes. They must be clean enough for a local politician and Baptist Choir director to be telling in front of the towns people.
What have you got.