Sunday, April 10, 2005

Hanky-Panky on the Farm

Friday started out like any other day. My Brother from Omaha came up to help me. We had been picking up and arranging trash, for burning.(on the farm trash usually alludes to some kind of foliage, in this case tree branches) A regular springtime job for those of us with miles of tree lines. We quit about 7 pm and Marilyn had dinner ready for us. I was going to say spaghetti, meat sauce, and garlic toast but I don't know how to spell spaghetti.
We watched the first game in the Nebraska-Texas series on ESPN-2. After the regulation 9, it was tied and my Bro left for Omaha. It was after all, past 10 p.m.
OKAY. Now let's skip to Sat. morn. I walk out of the house to begin loading a truck and what do I see but 2 of my Daughters ponies out of their pen. I do a U turn and go back to the door, "Marilyn, the ponies are out".
OKAY. Skip to noon. My brother calls, "I've called to confess", I say, "why". "Do you have any horses left". Right then I put 2 and 2 together and figure out he saw some horses out last nite and didn't say anything to us.
"Well when I left last night, I backed out and had to pull around your semi (which was sitting in the middle of the farmstead road) and when I pulled back on the road I saw them". "What the horses"? "Yes, and I stopped at your daughters house on the way off of the farm and knocked and no one answered the door, so I drove home and called your house about midnight and no one answered". "Don't worry about it", I say but he interrupts. "No you don't understand, I haven't gotten to the good part yet, when my headlights swung back to the west, you know, so they were shining on the grain bins, I saw it". "Saw what"? "The cat riding the horse".
Not in fifty five years has my Brother given me any reason to doubt his veracity. But I was waiting for the punch line. "Really, one of your cats was standing on the back of one of your horses". I of course believe what he says to be true, he isn't on any medication or prone to a weakness for stiff drink.
I laid awake last nite and wondered just what the heck is going on out side as we lay here snug in our beds. Are horses running in circles and cats doing somersaults thru the air and landing solidly on the galloping steeds.
Is this where they got the term 'hitching post'. Do animals hitch rides on horses from there? All of this time I admired circus animal acts. I didn't know it came naturally. They just walk around zoo's , with flashlights, at night, and catch the future stars of the Big Top in the act.
The horror of being caught. The Dr Doolittle conversation goes like this. The cat says "Wow, so this is what it's like being 12 hands tall, Awesome"! "Do that 'canter' thing again before one of the dogs catches up and wants back on"! "Headlight's!!! Freeze, NO, keep walking, pretend like everything is normal, he won't even notice me up here".
I have finally come to realize that everyday, when I look out across the farm, the dogs, the cats, and horses are always laying around, asleep, exhausted. Well, is it any wonder?

6 comments:

bridgesitter said...

Good morning Cliff. This was such an awesome post. I loved it! Thanks for the laugh.

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...

Cliff
Great post. It kind of makes you want to sneak out in the middle of the night just to try and catch them in the act.
Ralph

Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

My stupid bird keeps trying to crawl up onto the dogs backs.

I've tried to explain on them is a Bird dog and this probably isn't wise but....

Luckily said bird dog is about 14,000 years old and if that bird isn't on a plate with gravy, it's pretty safe.

Anonymous said...

Dad, these animals belong to your daughter, don't they? If so, these actions don't surprise me.
Or maybe these animals just saw Shrek 2.
Dan

Anonymous said...

Bro from Omaha says, "I am sticking to my story!"

Anonymous said...

Cliff, Your brother told this same story at lunch last week and like you I had no reason to doubt it. At least I didn`t, until you mentioned he had meatballs for dinner that night. About five years ago we were having meatball subs at a local sandwich shop. He told me a whopper about how he used to ride a pig around the farm. I can see now there may be some relationship between the meal and the size of the tale he tells. I mean he does get confused around food. Once he even order a happy meal because he thought there would be a lot of it and that would make him happy. MU65