Rant

Want to know what I hate?? Companies that start sending you their free magazine, completely unsolicited, and then send you threatening letters saying that if you don't fill out the enclosed survey, YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY RECEIVED YOUR LAST ISSUE!!!
Isn't this like the newscaster who said "the gunman has barricaded himself off from police, is said to be suicidal, and is heavily armed". You know, a problem with a solution. I feel like Dirty Harry, "Go ahead, don't send me anymore magazines, Make my Day".
If you promptly pitch said survey(s) in the burn barrel, you will be rewarded by being sent two (2) of their magazines every month instead of one. And a telephone survey that goes like this.
"Hi I'm Julie with 'Worthless Magazine' company, you haven't returned your survey and so we'd like to ask you a few questions to enable us to send 'Worthless Magazine' to you, free of charge." "You wouldn't want to miss an issue would you"?
I say, "Yes,,, and by the way, I'm getting two of your magazines every month".
"Oh, I'm sorry sir, which one is the duplicate"
Silence on my end, I just don't know how to answer that.
"Sir, which one should we cancel"?
"Both of them, I don't want your magazine, they don't burn well".
....Now I get three.
This is like trying to teach yourself to juggle using the only dozen eggs in the house. After the first three hit the floor, you think 'uh, I think I'll just leave it alone.
What I really need is a paper shredder capable of doing magazines.