Sunday, February 27, 2005

Help

Terah and John have been talking about life in the country and small town America. Terah talks about small town auto repair shops and John did a nice blog on How to Tell You're not from the Country. All of this got me to thinking that maybe I should ask you, the readers of this blog, of ways you can think of, on how to tell you live in (or near) a small town. A lot of you at least grew up in a small town or you have close relatives that do. I'll start, you guys leave a comment: (remember, on Blogger you don't have to sign in, just comment anonymously)
You live in the country if:
You slide in the ditch on the way to town, and the news of the event reaches town before you do.
You think a 'brown out' is what happens when you hit a mudhole at a high rate of speed.
You dial a wrong number, and talk to the person who answered, for thirty minutes anyway.
Every store has a message for you, "your wifes trying to get ahold of you".
Your town has a rush minute. (ours does, from 3:30 to 3:31 when the school lets out, it's impossible to get on main street)
You can't park your car on mainstreet and leave the doors on your car unlocked, in July, for fear a neighbor might give you some Zucchini.
They can tell you who the 'jerks' in town are. They're the ones who have to 'buy' their sweetcorn.
The UPS man knows your automobiles, and regularly flags you down in town to avoid driving on the muddy roads.
In July, they begin judging the 'wealthy farmers' by how much mud you have hanging from your 4x4. (irrigation induced mud while the rest of the farmers are burning up)
You have one stop light in town, and someone needs to push a button to make it work.
You know the phone number of almost everyone on mainsteet. And if one slips your mind, just ask the next person you see, they'll probably know it.
And my favorite, you make a call and before you get to the 'this is' part, they call you by your first name.
Okay folks, now it's your turn.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you want the gas that you just put in your car to be charged to your account, all you have to do is wave a someone inside.

Anonymous said...

You have pretty much covered our home town, so I'll give you some for my wife's home town.
The high school kids cruise a 1 square block area.
And as long as the kids stay on main street while they drink and drive, they are fine. That way the sheriff can keep an eye on all 8 of them.
The sheriff drives a 1985 Buick Centry with cop lights on top.
There are 3 bars for 600 people.
There are 4 Catholic churches for 600 people.
You live in a small town if you have a close relative that reads the town classifieds, and then looks through the phone book to match the numbers with some names.
If after your wedding you ride around town on a flatbed trailer with the wedding party sitting on hay bails drinking Busch Lite.
99 percent of all the vehicles in town are the same brand.
The seniors in the high school have a "drive your tractor to school" day.
You have a llama named Tina.
A sign I saw in a small town in Wyoming at an old shack along the road, "Spinal Adjustments 25$".
4 families cover 65% of the town's last names.
Your football team plays with less than 11 people.(I guess you could also use that as a metaphor).
Here is one for you dad.- When you pass the gas man on the road, you stick your finger in your ear to signal that you need fuel at your farm.

Anonymous said...

you know you live in a small town if...

* you break an axle on your truck jumping ditches but that's ok because your friend has a welding machine in his pickup.

* you go polka dancing every friday night at the dance hall

* the big shopping trip is a trek to the nearest big town's walmart.

* you instinctively slam your hand on the car hood before starting it on a very cold morning. (it shoos the cats out of the motor).

Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

Oh Cliff, I could go on all dang day. But I can also comment on yours!

Drove into a ditch one day and I woman I had never seen in my life comes out and yells at me, "I called your mother!".

Our town had a swinging yellow lite - no red lite for us.

I lived on School Street - had all three schools on it along with the houses. We all shared one lunch room placed in between the schools.

You only had to dial the last 4 digits of a phone number, the prefix was the same in the whole town.

Rain cancelled school as the buses couldn't get down the dirt roads when they rutted out.

There was always the neighbor's cow in any parade we had. Only way to "plump it up". We also generally had some very nice Ku Klux Klan members handing out pamphlets.

Shall I go on!?

Anonymous said...

We are lossing so much with the fading away of the small town way of life. Your neighbors are there 24 / 7 when you need help. They are watching your place while you are gone. Everyone knows everyone and cares about them. You can call all the people in your town by first name. There is a bond there that ties us all together and we share the good times as well as the bad. Like a big family helping and caring for each other. That is the frame work this great country was founded on. Please don't let the last few sparks of this fire die out. God Bless our country way of life.

Cold in Indianapolis

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