Wednesday, February 23, 2005

"I Love You"

There is a big grey area in marriage. At least for us men. An example is, I could say "I love you", exactly the same, 3 times, and get 3 entirely different responses.
Having lunch with my Wife, I could put down my sandwich and say "I love you". She would rise, kiss me on the forhead and with a voice usually reserved for infants say, "Oh, I love you too".
If I said "I love you" during her favorite television show, she might quickly say "well I love you too", and then turn her attentions immediately back to the tv.
If I shut the light out and get in bed, "I love you" will likely get this response "huh, I was asleep". I say "no you weren't, you just laid down". She says "well I was asleep, I'm tired".
I bring this up because last night, as I laid down with her I said, "Beans were up 24 cents today". "Wow", she says. I said "I have them in the Property Statement at $5.15 per bushel and they're at $5.60 right now, a couple more good up days and we'd have about ten thousand dollars we hadn't planned on". Now she's awake. "Really"? "Yeah" I said, "it would help offset the fifteen thousand dollar increase we're going to have in fertilizer and fuel". My pessimistic words completely dampen her mood and interest, now suddenly half asleep she mumbles "we just can't get ahead". I said "we're already ahead". She asks "we are"?
"Yes" I said, "we have each other".
Now my hearing isn't perfect, but I'm sure she mumbled (almost asleep at this point) "oh puke".
I asked "What....oh puke"?
And then as she faded completely away I heard a faint "oh did I say that outloud"?
There is obviously something about a bed that makes married men very, very, boring.


John Goerzen said...

I thought I must have been really boring since Terah would sometimes fall asleep in the middle of a conversation.

Until I noticed that she would also fall asleep in the middle of her own sentence.

She says that I'm not boring; it's just that she's a very skilled sleeper. I can believe the skilled sleeper part, at least :-)

bridgesitter said...

You guys are sooooo funny? I fell off my chair.

Oh Puke!!??

John, sleeping is a very highly skilled proffession. Some of us are workaholic's.

Ralph's Homespun Headlines said...


When I climb into bed at night our conversation usually goes like this, “Boy, did those accountants eat my lunch today.” You say, “Beans were up 24 cents today.” I think we both have the same problem, we’re just romantics at heart.


Anonymous said...

The fact that my wife Julie can fall asleep at any second of the day, is probably why she stays so beautiful. But it also caused her to fall asleep while eating a grilled cheese sandwich. To which I yelled, Julie!!! eat your food!!!
and she woke up and continued eating.
Cliff's Son

Cliff Morrow said...

Ralph, I got the "beans were up 24 cents today" line from my book, 100 LINES TO TURN-ON THE FARM WIFE. The book is usually right on. The best line from the book, so far, is "I talked to my dealer today and got you a brand new ball cap. I hope you don't mind that it says Pioneer on it". I'll tell ya, women really like those new clothes.

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.
I have kidded, pleaded, and gently hinted to my husband about adding a wee bit more than the three magic words to his "sweet nothings" vocabulary...

Uh, I'm still laughing so hard at "oh, puke!!!! Sounds like what is joked about as a man's response to V-Day (but could be a women's, too.)

I cannot reveal what we talk about, so instead I shall say, I'm so touched that you two love each other so much. That is obvious in between the tongue and sheets (I mean cheek(s). Love is shown in many ways. ;)